New marriage oath (Comedy)

Fellow members: Today, my wife and the wedding day of great rejoicing, after several years of hard work catch up, the combination is not easy to come by today. Therefore, in order to keep in mind this wonderful moment, to cherish this beautiful marriage, so that his wife's family at ease, but also so that friends and family at ease, now sworn in as far as: First, adhere to the absolute leadership of his wife. Wife at home always is the first and second child, the third dog, I fourth. Secondly, to seriously implement the "four sons" principle, as the grandson of his wife, like a dutiful son of the mother-in-law, eat like a mosquito, as the donkey work. Third, the Prevention of Cruelty to wife, husband, so civilized, so "do not fight back playing, I also do not curse, smiling faces of the protocol the cold." Fourth, the sincerity to accept the dictatorial emotionally wife, "Do not talk to strangers", in particular, a woman can not speak with strangers. Of course, ask for directions, except the old lady. Fifth, we insist on all money turned over to the system of wages. Wages are not altered, the possession of money is not the closet. However, a month can apply for 500 yuan. Brackets, the Japanese yen. Sixth, the positive response to the "six eggs," the call. Only to see his wife's face, to kiss in front of the face, close to the face to go to bed. Old, she must not shout "change the belt" and his wife called "asshole", I was "soft egg."

Scarf stories

Inadequate arrangements for a tour group, so that a pair of strange men and women sharing a room, the night without words. Morning, a woman on the window dressing, strange wind blows her scarf tree, we should see, the hard climb into one of the men sent to check scarf woman, But I remember many a woman face to face fans, called Road: "fool, to climb trees so high, the bed so low you do not climb up."

Chinese joke - before they get married

His girlfriend to see her boyfriend to kiss her, and help out his arm to block his face and said: "No, before they get married, you can not do so!" "That's good." Boyfriend laughed, "I can wait. I shall now leave you phone number, please let me know soon after getting married."

China's joke - the main function of a woman

The product for the modern multi-functional intelligent products, elegant, easy-keeping, a full-featured, easy to use, its main functions are: 1, partner functions: not only life partners, but also physiological partner; 2, cloning functions: you can be in accordance with the characteristics of the cloned like you man or woman to obtain an unlimited extension of life; 3,functions: not only when the baby's, the child's mother can do; 4, the Secretary of functions: not only the work of the staff when you can be your trusted aide the cause; 5, nanny functions: not only the nurse when you life, but also when the mother of your life; 6, seasoning function: It can adjust the taste of life, keeps you reading online, eating sleeping, watching movies, such as playing mahjong all the activities you want others to follow suit, so rich and varied life; 7, detoxification functions: life can be ruled out depression and ease tension in life, eliminated all kinds of toxins, so that a healthy life full; 8, Yishou function: You can adjust your emotional and physical, longevity; 9, in addition to a series of self-service functions, varies from person to person, and one machine only, never to repeat; Please choose as appropriate.

Milking contest super comedy

Milk contest, the referee carrying a large drum to the contestants, said: "Who can in one minute is filled with a bucket of Champions, 500 prize money!" Finish on the "beep" out of the race began. Not a minute to have a husky fellow to bring milk barrels breathless shout: "address, I filled a bucket!" We are pleased Tahan. Looked at the referee pointed to the back: "The champion should be sent to the back of his little sister should." Many people look to squeeze a girl less than half a bucket and asked why the title appear to her, the magistrate said: " People crowded the Bulls! "

Different

Two couples for dinner, the wife said: "Now how do you always pick a good fish meat? Remember that we love you most love to eat fish head ... ..." "why the situation is different!" Said her husband, "Now my goal is to eat fish, my goal is to fishing."

Hold the brake

Double bike couple riding out picnic. Both hard and difficult to climb a slope, the side to catch my breath while her husband said: "This, the slope is really steep, hard climbing, I am exhausted!" Echoed his wife: "The not right, either I holds the brake has been tight, let's go back down. "