New marriage oath (Comedy)

Fellow members: Today, my wife and the wedding day of great rejoicing, after several years of hard work catch up, the combination is not easy to come by today. Therefore, in order to keep in mind this wonderful moment, to cherish this beautiful marriage, so that his wife's family at ease, but also so that friends and family at ease, now sworn in as far as: First, adhere to the absolute leadership of his wife. Wife at home always is the first and second child, the third dog, I fourth. Secondly, to seriously implement the "four sons" principle, as the grandson of his wife, like a dutiful son of the mother-in-law, eat like a mosquito, as the donkey work. Third, the Prevention of Cruelty to wife, husband, so civilized, so "do not fight back playing, I also do not curse, smiling faces of the protocol the cold." Fourth, the sincerity to accept the dictatorial emotionally wife, "Do not talk to strangers", in particular, a woman can not speak with strangers. Of course, ask for directions, except the old lady. Fifth, we insist on all money turned over to the system of wages. Wages are not altered, the possession of money is not the closet. However, a month can apply for 500 yuan. Brackets, the Japanese yen. Sixth, the positive response to the "six eggs," the call. Only to see his wife's face, to kiss in front of the face, close to the face to go to bed. Old, she must not shout "change the belt" and his wife called "asshole", I was "soft egg."

Scarf stories

Inadequate arrangements for a tour group, so that a pair of strange men and women sharing a room, the night without words. Morning, a woman on the window dressing, strange wind blows her scarf tree, we should see, the hard climb into one of the men sent to check scarf woman, But I remember many a woman face to face fans, called Road: "fool, to climb trees so high, the bed so low you do not climb up."

Chinese joke - before they get married

His girlfriend to see her boyfriend to kiss her, and help out his arm to block his face and said: "No, before they get married, you can not do so!" "That's good." Boyfriend laughed, "I can wait. I shall now leave you phone number, please let me know soon after getting married."

China's joke - the main function of a woman

The product for the modern multi-functional intelligent products, elegant, easy-keeping, a full-featured, easy to use, its main functions are: 1, partner functions: not only life partners, but also physiological partner; 2, cloning functions: you can be in accordance with the characteristics of the cloned like you man or woman to obtain an unlimited extension of life; 3,functions: not only when the baby's, the child's mother can do; 4, the Secretary of functions: not only the work of the staff when you can be your trusted aide the cause; 5, nanny functions: not only the nurse when you life, but also when the mother of your life; 6, seasoning function: It can adjust the taste of life, keeps you reading online, eating sleeping, watching movies, such as playing mahjong all the activities you want others to follow suit, so rich and varied life; 7, detoxification functions: life can be ruled out depression and ease tension in life, eliminated all kinds of toxins, so that a healthy life full; 8, Yishou function: You can adjust your emotional and physical, longevity; 9, in addition to a series of self-service functions, varies from person to person, and one machine only, never to repeat; Please choose as appropriate.

Milking contest super comedy

Milk contest, the referee carrying a large drum to the contestants, said: "Who can in one minute is filled with a bucket of Champions, 500 prize money!" Finish on the "beep" out of the race began. Not a minute to have a husky fellow to bring milk barrels breathless shout: "address, I filled a bucket!" We are pleased Tahan. Looked at the referee pointed to the back: "The champion should be sent to the back of his little sister should." Many people look to squeeze a girl less than half a bucket and asked why the title appear to her, the magistrate said: " People crowded the Bulls! "

Different

Two couples for dinner, the wife said: "Now how do you always pick a good fish meat? Remember that we love you most love to eat fish head ... ..." "why the situation is different!" Said her husband, "Now my goal is to eat fish, my goal is to fishing."

Hold the brake

Double bike couple riding out picnic. Both hard and difficult to climb a slope, the side to catch my breath while her husband said: "This, the slope is really steep, hard climbing, I am exhausted!" Echoed his wife: "The not right, either I holds the brake has been tight, let's go back down. "

Money

One afternoon, I am very bored students in the Construction of the work, a woman wearing a very bad (neuropathy patients) came to his window, gave him a piece of paper to money Surprised to note reads: "Comrade XX is sent to your bank RMB extract Department." Then after N number of zero is inscribed *** *** CP Central Committee General Office I originally wanted to alert students, if we look at the woman neuropathy in patients with very serious look, think or just to fight the security issued. (Estimated security is also very busy). Sure enough, the security of the woman said: "This note you want to withdraw money, we must first come across the police station, find a director to build a chapter after chapter, he covered, then no problem you money." Imagined that she directly went to the police station (which is really not a general security usually look down on him a bit). Probably more than 10 minutes, customers lined up when grown slowly, the woman came back elated, holding the note, said: "People say that you, simplifying office procedures, do not be director of the grant money directly to you . " My classmates heard the sigh which Police could not really have an expert team, sent back word alone. And security of the students I was a bit silly, the business lobby have a lot of people are afraid to attack her mental illness affect the normal order, had brought the charge of the duty. And female patients with head on one side and talked for a few, asked her to use money to do it, female patients, said: "take the money to buy bread, cake, food and wear to buy." Not far away, in charge of pointing at the local, The woman on the go and happily. Security to ask "good ideas", this is the case at that time in charge of female patients said: "We visit here is only building a house money to come here. You get money to buy food, then it must surely be the food, go to the Agricultural Bank to buy things such as wear, Industrial and Commercial Bank of China money to do! " I admire youstudents, in the end when the head!!!! ... ... ... ... After a while, the President is back. And Agricultural Bank of China has brought the answer: "Agricultural Bank of China said, and here is the Agricultural Bank of China, only the farmers money, I am the urban population. ICBC said, we here is a public line, only to take public , the mother's not. say that I am a slut, money to go to China Construction Bank. " My students, security, supervisor,. . . Competent and fainted, hastened to call Deputy Head of instructions to the squad leader on duty. The squad leader asked to understand the situation, Deputy Head of the phone call to the woman said: "The reform is now, and China Construction Bank into joint-stock banks, and related to the international standards, and are issued by U.S., British pound, you get the RMB, there was a need to check the People's Bank. "